For a while after having my 3rd baby, I kind of just apologized to people-
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- I’m sorry my family is big.
- I swear it’s my last baby… (Maybe?)
- I’m sorry we’re so loud.
- I’m sorry I don’t have my shit together.
- I’m sorry my children take over wherever we go…
And treated it like I was just… surviving-
- 3 kids is insane.
- How am I going to get through the day?
- Maybe when ______ happens, I’ll be happy.
- My life is has been reduced to breaking up fights and wiping butts.
Yes, having 3 kids is kind of nuts. But guess what?
So is having 1 kid. Or 2. Or 10.
The only difference is your attitude. Sincerely.
It’s time to change the script you think you were given and tap into that inner Goddess shit. And you know what? It’s time to start treating all the other moms, dads, kids, friends, homeless people on the street like they are freakin’ gods and goddesses too.
BECAUSE THEY ARE.
BECAUSE YOU ARE.
Even on our worst days we are here to learn and to teach others.
So instead of apologizing and surviving-
it’s time to start owning up to our shit and living the life we were meant to!
You are not a victim.
You are a kick ass, bad ass mama lion raising the kindest, coolest little humans on the planet.
You don’t need to apologize for that!
Here are the top ways you can absolutely rock being a new mom of 3:
THROW YOUR EXPECTATIONS OUT THE WINDOW
No, literally open the window and yell out f*ck you expectations!
It will make this a whole lot easier.
You might have a baby that sleeps through the night and doesn’t cry except when super tired. You might have a baby who has wicked colic and screams bloody murder from 9-12. Every. Single. Night. (both true stories for me.)
So as Elsa would say… LET IT GO!
Move on, accept things as they come and know that you have a beautiful gift each day-
A chance to completely restart.
Every single morning you wake up-
- Don’t check your phone.
- Set your INTENTIONS for the day as in ‘I intend to have a good day, I intend to deal with things as they happen’
- Decide on one positive anchor that you can hang on to when you feel yourself spiraling into negative thoughts and emotions. It can be as simple as self-appreciation (I am strong, kind, a good person) or something you are grateful for (we have a roof over our heads, food to eat, clean water to drink)
- When you start to spiral, grab onto one of these. It really helps to put things into perspective and pull you out.
So what happens if your day was f***** awful yesterday and you barely slept last night?
Wallow for a little while and then get over it, it’s the best thing you can do for yourself (and your kids.)
Make one hell of a gargantuan cup of coffee and meet the day with your bad assiest self.
INVEST IN A GOOD WRAP
(If you don’t already have one, that is)
Having a wrap when you have other children is one of the best investments you can possibly make. You can:
- fold laundry
- make meals
- drink coffee easily (eff yeah.)
- play with your other kids
- go for walks and hold hands with your other kids
- type on a computer
- do pretty much anything you can think of that you need two hands.
For the first couple of months we use a fabric wrap like this one because the baby is so small and you can have them squished up (comfortably) listening to your heart beat and lulled to sleep most of the day while having your hands free!
It’s also a life saver if you have a colic-y baby because it may soothe them to be snuggled up close and warm against your body.
After the first couple of months we switch to a firmer option like this wrap– it’s easy to throw on in a hurry which you will really appreciate with 3 children. This is a mid priced wrap that we loved and have used for 2 out of 3 kids.
If you really love wraps and have some money to spend, the LennyLamb wraps are woven in Poland and they are GORGEOUS. And the most comfortable wrap I’ve ever worn. This not an affiliate link, I genuinely LOVE the LennyLamb wraps and know you will too!
MAKE A ‘PREPARED’ BOX
This is a game changer. Seriously. Whether you have 1,2 or 3 kids. Or more.
Get yourself a cute little basket or box that you can easily carry around (like these ones) and fill it with-
- Bum cream
- Breast pads
- Nipple Cream
- SNACKS- YES! SNACKS! They are a lifesaver when you are tied down and breastfeeding, for you and your kids! If they come asking for a snack- BOOM, whip one out of your special box.
- Sleepers for the baby
- WATER BOTTLE
- Soothers (these soothers are the best- they are BPA free, orthodontic and dishwasher safe with over 1000 awesome reviews!)
I used this with my last two babies. It doesn’t last long but my goodness, having this on hand with a newborn is absolutely amazing!
ASK YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS FOR HELP
We are living in a time where we are literally surrounded by people but completely alone. It is now acceptable that the primary caregiver is at home, alone, with the children the majority of the time.
THIS IS SO EFFING HARD.
ON THE CAREGIVER AND THE CHILDREN.
They absolutely need positive outside influences.
And you absolutely need a break from your children sometimes.
It takes a village to raise a child. The kids in the past would have influences from all generations (aunties, uncles, cousins, grandmothers and grandfathers) helping to teach and take care of them.
If you have family nearby, cash in on your sisterhood of woman power, it is such a positive way to raise your children. If you don’t have family near then call your friends.
You’re a queen.
Your friends are queens.
They will help you and you will help them ❤
STOCK UP ON HOUSEHOLD SUPPLIES
It’s not the end of the world if someone has to run out for toilet paper but honestly, this was such an easy thing to do and then NOT worry about it after your 3rd baby is born. Especially when you are kind of on zombie mode for the first month.
- toilet paper
- laundry detergent
- non perishable food
STOCK UP ON NEW THINGS FOR YOUR KIDS
Non-messy things that are easily done by themselves for those moments when you’ve had their shows on for way too long (guilty!) and you are ready for a guilt free break-
- pencil crayons
- coloring books
- magic coloring books (ZERO mess)
TAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF
Oh yeah, everyone says it, but holy crap!
you gotta take this to heart!
Repeat after me:
I WILL TAKE TIME FOR MYSELF AND NOT FEEL GUILTY BECAUSE WHEN I COME BACK I WILL BE A HAPPIER AND BETTER VERSION OF MYSELF, SO HELP ME.
It took 3 babies to realize that the baby won’t die if you are gone for 10 minutes. Take the time and don’t apologize.
Instead of saying sorry, I needed that.
Say thank you so much for stepping up for me, you rock!
IT’S OKAY TO STEP AWAY FROM THE BABY IF THEY’RE CRYING
This also took me 3 babies to learn.
It’s okay to step away and catch your breath.
Some days can be severely overwhelming, especially if it’s not just the baby crying. If you get lucky, your middle child will have some epic, throwing crap at the walls and trying to slap you tantrums.
Step away, regroup and tell yourself ‘this too shall pass.’
And it will.
The one you can thing absolutely count on is the time will flying by.
So slow down, don’t have any expectations of how things should or shouldn’t go.
Be kind to yourself and your children, it’s a wild time.
GET INSPIRED BY YOUR CHILDREN
Again, if you haven’t already! It’s easy to get caught up in how hectic your days are.
You are raising the next generation!
What do you want your children to see? It’s important to find a balance of spending time with them but also showing them that they can do amazing things.
Every time I have a baby I get super motivated to do epic things!
Not that you have to do anything like that, but what do YOU want? For yourself and for your kids?
This is YOUR time, as well as theirs. It’s time to start knocking down societal expectations.
Open your mind to new ways of thinking and GET GOING.
The only thing stopping you is…
BE OKAY IF YOU ARE NOT INSPIRED BY YOUR CHILDREN
There are going to be days where you are less than inspired.
That is 100% okay.
You need those days to appreciate the good ones.
Yesterday there wasn’t a second to collect my breath and by the time my husband got home I threw the kids at him and had a moment to myself. And I cried.
It happens to every parent at some point.
What matters is that you pick yourself up and move on.
BEING A MOM OF 3 IS A GIFT
It really, truly is.
It’s very easy to get wrapped up in your own stuff and forget that some people struggle to even get pregnant, can’t get pregnant or have miscarriages.
If you are considering a 3rd baby (or second or fourth..) or are pregnant-
count your blessings.
Stop, take a breath, close your eyes
and just say thank you for blessing me with the chance to have another child.
You have absolutely got this ❤ Let me know in the comments how much you are killin’ it as a fierce mom of 3!